Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Alive.
So much puke
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
