She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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