Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
