thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
