I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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