I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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