I'm drive I can fine osifer
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
