ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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