tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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