My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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