I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
