wrigley field is MILF paradise
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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