her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
