Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
