I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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