She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
