Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
