Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
