Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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