dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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