How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
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