and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
