She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
