Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
