just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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