You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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