Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
