If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
