Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
