I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
