I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
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