Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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