I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
