im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Also, beer. Big fan.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
