So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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