It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize