He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
