what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
