You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My feet surprised me
Randomize
