wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Help. Why am I so naked?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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