he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
