Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Randomize
