K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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