thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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