My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
