he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
