i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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