I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
