we're blogging at a bar
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
