Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
