Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
