Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
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