I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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