No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
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