I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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