Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
