The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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