it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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