You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
