Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize