i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
