Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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