quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
