p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
please don't ironically join a cult
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