Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
